Monthly Archives: January 2009

the series of one-oh-eight

Sleep studies were among my major concerns as a sleepless middle schooler. I couldn’t figure out how you could masturbate while being monitored, and what if you can’t fall asleep without getting off! I know most middle schoolers are preoccupied … Continue reading

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spit dries; lube is forever

Because my best friend and I are both losers, we made a bet. I bet that I could fuck a girl before she could fuck a guy. It took four months for either of us to win. We couldn’t figure … Continue reading

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thanks for the arousal; now where’s the cock?

charlie: im a fan genie: cool, i’ll check it out i had girl sex the other night charlie: haha so i (sort of) heard how was it? genie: good except for the lack of cock charlie: hahaha i mean … Continue reading

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no more dildos in the bathroom, part 1

My brother “Will” is ten years younger than I am, with no siblings in between. And no, he was not an “accident.” As a twenty-four-year-old, I am halfway in between friend and authority figure to my fourteen-year-old brother. He tells … Continue reading

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you can’t improve upon perfection, part two

He invited himself back with me, which kind of annoyed me. I mean, he didn’t even ask, he just assumed we were going to the same place. He followed me, almost, when I said maybe I would take the subway … Continue reading

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you can’t improve upon perfection, part one

After three weeks of vacation, the unthinkable happened: I fell asleep while watching porn, not out of exhaustion, but boredom! To be filed under: ways in which you know you lead a cushy life, a student’s lifestyle. Upon waking up … Continue reading

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if it turns out you’re a bitch, i’d still fuck you

What I love about guys is, they love to be used. Case in point: My best friend had this party for which she sent out invites on facebook. One of the respondents—let’s call him “Andy”—had red hair. I thought, “How … Continue reading

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In Color

I have always had this obsession with red hair. I can’t explain it, exactly. It isn’t sexual, per se. Throughout my life there was been women I’ve idolized (Dr. Judy, Angela Chase, a best friend), men I’ve wanted, and even … Continue reading

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on cum

This is the most embarrassing thing I’ve written–ever! I’m seriously not this disgusting; it’s just that gay guys bring out the disgusting in you or, rather, dating a gay guy brought out the disgusting in me. It’s just like any … Continue reading

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