Mischief Maker. Tale Chaser. Sex-Positive Feminist.

Working title of memoir is Flushed: Stories About Sex, Shit and Other Bodily Misfortunes. Can send you a sample chapter or two if you’d like.

You know that moment when you spit on your fingers, in haste, with the intention of transferring it to your vagina, in one fluid motion. But you miss by a centimeter or two, just a liiittle off, and it globs on you shirt, instead. Or you don’t miss your projected target, at all, nonetheless drool dribbles down your vector of a chin. Tethering your face to vagina by way of slimey string, threatening the integrity of your intermediate clothing. Done, you shrug it off, rub it in, get on your merry way, go about your business. With a spit-stained secret, planted prominently: a masturbator’s badge. That moment, that attitude, encapsulates the entirety of my blog: a series of sexual bloopers brushed off, made mundane.

7 Responses to About

  1. Damon says:

    Very cool! I like this “About.” Straight to the point. Ok you have me reeled in…

  2. rob says:

    Got to your blog via the published story of your ex. Then started reading some of your other entries. Very enjoyable and funny, with good writing to boot. I’d definitely buy your book when it’s published. I also believe we went to the same small, liberal liberal arts college – that one up on a hill of that college town in Western Mass. with 3 other colleges and 1 large university nearby? Unless it’s that school further west with the famous summerstock theater. I need to read more to be sure, but I need to get back to doing work now.
    Thanks for the entertaining writing! I look forward to reading more.

    • indefenseofgettingoff says:

      Glad you’re enjoying reading! I did not go to any of the Noho schools, nor the other one I think you’re referring to. Though we prob know the same people if we are around the same age. I went to a college so obscure and avant-garde, you’ve probably never heard about it. Look at this fucking hipster! Anyway, most of the details in my blog are fairly non-specific, as for many years I feared professional outing.

      My fear of public exposure mostly evaporated when I recovered from having an incapacitating illness. Deprived of physical agency for medical reasons, I grew increasingly disdainful of the lack of ownership society imposes on women’s bodies. Like finally I beat a serious disease, feel physically vital, and my healthy body could be deemed trash if I publicly revealed it or admitted to enjoying it. Pair that with the fact that I am now beginning my training to become a sexual health clinician, and I don’t think I should be taken seriously as a doctor if I treat certain body parts or functions as shocking, shameful, or unspeakable. Like my being closeted about my life implicitly supports the stigmatization and marginalization of those who lead alternative sexual lifestyles or have alternative sexual desires.

      Anyway, read on… Might be a while until I have time to write new material, though I have a lengthy backlog.

  3. bob says:

    You remind me of another faux feminist named Lena Dunham. Your ilk spells the end of Western Civilization. Self absorbed rebels with no cause and nary an ounce of substance. Borrowing your lovely vocabulary, in a word, “ick.”

    • indefenseofgettingoff says:

      If the Downfall of Western Civilization means the end of the patriarchy, I cannot wait! How do I hasten this global warming you speak of?

      Could not be more flattered by your comparison. Imagine how powerful women must be if insubstantial ones like us can overthrow tyranny with our words alone.

  4. Jamie says:

    True Confidence is always sexy …. As is intelligence, sincerity, and self-awareness.

    Hope you swipe right for me if you’re ever in the Seattle area..!

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